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Yesterday, I drove home very excited to see my little (Z-Mac, if you have not already heard of her). Walked into the house, she met me with a smile. But, as soon as I turned away to finish unpacking and settling in, she erupted into blood-curdling banshee screaming. She continued her on-and-off screaming, even after nursing and eating.

If you are a Mom, you know this is excruciating. And, when you are a Mom who has been away all day and had so much excitement to hang out with her little, it is even more crushing. Nothing I did seemed to improve her screaming. Ultimately, it is okay. She was just upset.

After I finished nursing, I snuck downstairs to get a workout in. With how busy the last month has been (licensure exam, nursing, walking goal, work), I have been inconsistent with my typical strength and conditioning routine. #reallife

Nursing also does not make me feel very attractive. Really just makes me feel used haha. Occasionally, it is also disappointing that I am one that has not experienced weight loss while nursing. I am doing my very best to simply maintain my weight. That is tough when you hear about others’ success with weight loss, and you also have to endure reading or hearing comments like, “Well, you just have to eat healthy.” Yeah, okay. I am literally focusing on fruits, veggies, eating enough (I am typically STARVING), and healthy snack options. And, drinking a CRAPTON OF WATER. All of this does not equal sexy.

So, this is where I am at today. About to start a workout. Feeling like a sack of crap from baby rejection and nursing fatigue. Knowing that I am weak-sauce, especially in my core, and today is a midline-focused day. Instead of wallowing at that point, I made the appropriate adjustments to the workout based on where I am right now, and moved on.

Note, I am a health professional. I understand I am still healing and recovering from pregnancy and delivery. But, I am also a HUMAN, and some days, I feel bummed by where my body and mind are at right now vs pre-pregnancy.

Despite the modifications I made, I still experienced lots of muscular endurance fatigue. Breathing-wise, I felt solid (yay!). After, I laid on the floor, listening to Z-Mac banshee screaming upstairs, feeling sad. I let the negative self-talk and complaining flow for a bit.

“Why have you not been making time for these workouts?” (Uh, because sleep is also important.)

“Why does she (Z) not want to be around you today?” (She is just grumpy. And, she probably did miss me, just does not understand her emotions.)

“You are so weak.” (Uh, yeah. You were just PREGNANT.)

“You will never get back to lifting.” (This is absurd; of course, I will.)

“Your body looks disgusting.” (Why does this even matter? My body has done some amazing things!)

“This floor smells disgusting. I bet the litterboxes are filthy, too. Why am I the only one doing anything around here? Why do I have to ask?” (Ridiculous. My husband has no issue helping out around the house, and he is not a mind-reader.)

Then, I said out loud, “What are you doing? You are a coach. You literally just got on a soap-box last night to your challenge crew about this.”

And, I am right. This talk is completely unproductive, and honestly, just made me feel more like shit. There is no place for that in wellness. I am doing a great job balancing an infant, job, exercising, eating well and mindfully, nursing an infant, having a relationship with my husband, and more. My body and mind have proven time and time again how capable and incredible they are.

It is okay to wallow for a bit. For a VERY short bit. Because we are human, and we should allow ourselves to feel. But then, we need to quickly move on into more productive speak. You are in charge of your experience. You can choose to wallow forever, or you can suck it up, acknowledge your feelings, tell yourself you are a fricking ROCKSTAR, and get after it.

To whoever needs to hear it today: YOU ARE DOING AN INCREDIBLE JOB. You are beautiful. You are strong. You are powerful. You are capable. And I am sending you a virtual HUG. Fill your self-talk with these POSITIVE affirmations. The more you use them, the more frequently they will pop up in your thoughts when you are feeling down.

Share a time when you struggled with your self-talk. How did you manage those feelings? Were you able to change it? How did you grow / what did you learn?

And, if you would like some assistance with this, join our new 6-week Align Yourself program! Mindset is one of our discussion topics. Our next challenge is set to start early January.


Dr. Ana

Ana Grimh, PT, DPT, CNPT, BA, CSCS, FMS-1, CF-L2 Trainer Doctor of Physical Therapy, University of Wisconsin – Madison

Certified Nutritional Physical Therapy Owner/Mastermind

Align Wellness Services, LLC

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Dr. Ana I love your posts! This one especially under our current social conditions, with the holidays around the corner, the change in weather and time it is easy to feel down and unmovitated! I find texting a friend(s) a "check in" message is helpful. Also there are "businesses" that send presonalized friendly, postitive, and light hearted messages that help muster a smile, or a deep sigh. I recommend - Notes from the Universe. these little notes are bright spots in any day. Example of past note: Behold, a new day...with rainbows, sunshing, and blue skies. New players, rebounds, and recoveries. Abundance, health, and harmony... just like you've been picturing them, right? Right? Please tell me you've been pict…

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